Why letting go of approval makes you a better colleague and leader. Most workplace stress doesn’t come from the work itself. It comes from people.  From worrying about how a comment will land in a meeting. From saying “yes” when you mean “no.” From trying to be liked by everyone, your boss, your peers, your direct reports. I get it, it can get very overwhelming. This made me pull a book off the shelf I read a couple of years ago called The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kis

I found one of the clearest leadership models not in a business book but in Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Hear me out!

Curiosity is important in conflict because it shifts the goal from winning to understanding and that changes everything. When conflict shows up, especially at work or in leadership spaces, our default reaction is self-protection. We brace. We defend. We assume intent. Curiosity interrupts that instinct. Instead of leading with conclusions, it invites questions. And questions slow things down enough to create space for conversation instead of escalation.

Raises won’t fix underperformance, disengagement, or broken workplace culture. Instead of using money to avoid hard conversations, leaders must address root issues with accountability, coaching, and clear expectations.